We have not really started with the organisation of departure. So far it is planning the trips that come before the big move. Like Kenya/Tanzania. On Sunday Pélé Mélé, a favourite second book store, held their 75 year anniversary. It was open on Sunday (!) and there was a small jazz session and free drinks. Such a lovely atmosphere, not crowded at all. We found a few big travel books and looked through them, dreaming away of the our own trip, knowing it will come and go by too soon.

This is the calm before the big storm. The silence before the big crescendo. And I will enjoy it together with Ólafur.

This change is going to be great, in both qualitative and quantitative sense. Great, because it is big! Yesterday I finally told my work that I will be leaving, and it is one step closer to the end of my office career. I’m ready for retirement. Great, because it’ll be so awesomely good for me. I will now have the opportunity to do whatever I want to do, be it graphic design, photography, writing, learning a new language & culture and traveling. Or why not immerse myself entirely in studying the Middle East and to understand what drives the conflicts that have been raging in the region for the last 60 years? I no longer have to occupy 40 hours a week of my life to respond excellently to customers, managing databases and coming up with marketing materials for a industry I have no real passion for. Yes, I do feel certain amount of relief. I think life will become just a little bit more meaningful. 

We have been immensely lucky, and I am determined to make the most out of this opportunity (although I can’t promise I won’t be lazying out in the sun now and then, or disappearing to some wine valley or the beach). This change has opened up doors and a new world. Or it is the same world just more accessible. Earlier this year I was waiting for something, a change that would be big and wonderful – and here it is. Beirut. So, after another month in Brussels, and one more month traveling, we will be there. A new start.

My dad broke a bone in his foot while attempting downhill skiing. He even had a operation yesterday and was very proud of himself being awake the whole time watching the details on the screen. Said it was a once in a life time opportunity. Silly man trying to learn skiing at the age of near fifty.

Last Saturday we went to IKEA with a list of purchase. But it was a big fail when the whole downstairs was in renovation and there was no stuff to bring back. Except, Helmer. This very heavy, 6 metal drawer thingy. Helmer tagged along home with us in much toil and pain, and then we spent about an hour putting him together. Dedication, but now he is standing proudly under the table.

I was quite happy with my idea of going to Pelé Melé and buying lots of second hand books. I got a Amy Tan, two Anaïs Nin a guidebook to Bhutan. I like how shopping in these cheap second hand book stores are kind of fateful. They have a very limited selection and by chance these books found me.

I have been busy designing too, for various things. Sometimes I get quite annoyed that I don’t have the skills to do what I want, other times I don’t know what I want to do so it doesn’t really matter.

On Sundays we continue to go to the market to do our weekly purchase. I have now figured out the system, there is one stand with bio veggies that I particularly like. It is also nice to put the shopping straight into our bag without much fuss about plastic bags.

I want to start swimming, and I attempted to buy myself a swimsuit yesterday at lunch time. But they only had crap at those enormous head aching sports stores. Size 40+ and crap. It’s a shame because there’s apparently a very beautiful old swimming pool in the neighborhood. 

These are the things that come to my mind now. I want to drink my tea and get away from the computer.

But everything in our society is about communication. How do I sent my message to the receiver? I write in this blog, and hopefully you understand what I’m trying to get at. The next step is to see if I can manage to get you to get what I’m getting at visually too.

Coming back to Brussels after 3 weeks in China was quite tough. As already experienced in a previous entry 2 years ago (here). I actually read this the other day and realized that I went through exactly the same emotions this time round. So things don’t change too much, although I had toally forgotten about the previous experience during this experience. Guess that is a good thing? Like the 10 second Bob, who always forgets and gets excited all over again and over again…

After the tough first week, which was mildy subdued by some good African food, we went off to the UK. Back to Warwick for Kenneth’s graduation and then London for some catching up with good friends and singing. That was a lot of fun, and very busy. I had never felt so tired in my life taking the Eurostar at 06:20am and arriving straight at work on Monday for a intense most-of-your-colleagues-are-ill-so-you-have-double-the-amount-to-do kind of day.

However, the week improved and now we’ve spent a relaxing weekend. Went on a flathunting mission in St. Gilles. Friday evening visited a lovely flat, but there 2 before us in line. Saturday morning we saw a place which we did not see on picture beforehand. It was HUGE, and old and dirty and we had to pretend it was nice and say politely to the old lady who forgot about our visit and had to drive half-way across town that “eh, nous cherchons quelque chose plus petit..” Funny enough afterwards we walked past a building with a orang “A Louer” sign. The front door was open so we gave the number a call. French woman directed me to José Manuel in the restaurant next door. We met José, who took us to the 1st floor. Knocked hard. And guess what? Albanian Guy with Albanian Baby in his arms opens the door. He welcome us in and we walk straight into the living room. There sits the Albanian Grandma, knitting. She stares at us and smiles. We felt so awkard and out of place, treading around in their living space. But they tell us to feel free and look around. In the kitchen we found the Albanian Grandpa cutting cheese… It was like a scene from ONCE. A very interesting experience on a Saturday morning, but unfortunately the flat was too expensive for the two of us. If a whole Albanian family can live there, it would be a bit too greedy of us to take that much space. We played with the little kid and then politely left.

Flat visits are always interesting experiences, but I’m glad it’s going to be over for now. We’re next in line for the Friday flat, and if all goes well with the contract signing this week, then we’ll be moving very very soon to St. Gilles. Oh yes.

Although I haven’t left Brussels, I did leave Brussels occasionally. As the visitors came and left. I went to Oudenaarde near Ghent for a festival called Feest in het Paark. It was all because of LAMB. It was even worth it to listen 10 hours to Dutch techno. I also visited Kiewit with a tent and a  friend and a pair of wellies. What a magical experience. Hot hot sun and thunder. Beirut, the Get Up Kids, Moderat, Ellen Allien, Paulo Nutini, Arctic Monkeys, Devoschka, the Whitest Boy Alive, Fever Ray, Vampire Weekend… and of course our dear friend €0.50. Apart from the music, I did have sea too. Testing out a tent near the nudist beach of Bredene, and drinking home-brewed genièvre at a Flemish belle epoque festival was quite the experience.

But summer is over, and welcome September the traffic jam starts. It’s time to go back to school, but for some there is no school to go back to. This is normally the time when routines start shaping, when you settle into a busy life. Go back and meet all your friends, catch up over all the things you missed out over the summer. But those changes won’t happen this time. I have my own place now. I have a job. I have a poisonnerie that sells fresh gambas just around the corner. I suppose I am well prepared to enter into a adult type of life. I suppose I should be old enough. And yet, here I am missing school already. Quel bordel.

With a visitor here there was much more to enjoy about Brussels. First of all, Fin de la Siècle. We had dinner there twice in a week. The first time we had dinner, we went to Gecko afterwards and then Beursschouwburg for a free concert on their terrace. An intense rock band in the summer heat, and the front row seat was a couch. Then there was a lot of Place Flagey. After the renovation, this square has become the beat of the heart of Bxl (or at least XL). The Brussels Film Festival started on Sunday, so Belga was packed. And outside Belga was packed. The queue outside the famous Frites guy was even more packed. 

We caught a Festival movie on Monday. ‘Somewhere between here and now‘ – a Belgian low budget movie about a girl coming back to Bxl and a guy about to leave Bxl and a random night walking around the city. It caught some nice aspects of the ‘randomness’ of the city. It was the first public showing, so the whole team was there after the movie and the audience asked some funny questions.  

One day we discovered the area between the waters of Etangs d’Ixelles and Bois de la Cambre. There was actually an abbey (Abbaye de la Cambre) with some really nice grass, big tree shades and old stone walls. So, another day we went back for a picnic.

On Friday, the Swedish presidency was celebrated on Place Flagey (again). Coinciding with Brussels XL Flagey Summer Festival and the film festival. There was a big stage where some swedish bands played (incl. Soundtrack of our Lives, slight disappointment actually) and a movie screen that showed Tillsammans. Suddenly you could hear swedish everywhere.

Yesterday, my visitor departed. I waved goodbye at the security gates before heading back into town and catching some fries and a movie. Nearly alone in Actor’s Studio I watched Coco Avant Chanel loosing the love of her life… but with such style and such lovely boyish clothes. I was tormented between the loss and admiration.

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So here I am back in my old spot at Fontainas. The same one I sat at while I wrote my cover letter for MLex nearly two years ago. I remember the afternoon while I had time off from ULB and decided on doing some intense internship hunting. All that intenseness really only amounted to MLex, but look how far that has got me. Here I am, lured back to Brussels after one year of absence. Living in the past and a present that hasn’t altered too much. The electronic music playing at Fontainas right now is as good as it can get (I assume they leave their infamous opera for the midday). The real difference is that instead of drinking a bière blanche I’m having a kir, and instead of my 7kg heavy Dell I now sit here with a Macbook. To sit in Fontainas writing on a Macbook must have been a subconscious dream of mine, because together with the electronic music and the environment I feel that this is exactly how it should feel if I was to write. For some reason the wireless doesn’t want to connect today, but maybe it is for the best. This way I can really have a go at the writing. A part of me feels a bit numb and handicapped after such a long absence from creative writing. The academic essays have probably gotten the better of me during this year. But now that I’m free, I’m free to write whatever I want. Free to listen to whatever I want and go out dancing to whatever I like listening to. What’s more, I can even read whatever I want, i.e. those girly teenage books such as Twilight which I have just bought for myself to indulge in. Once work is over, suddenly there is this freedom. It’s slowly creeping on to me the unlimited possibilities of what I can do with my free time. Do I ever want to read the Economist again – really? I’m not going to pretend to be pretentiously intelligent for a while, I’m going to do the things I like.

This next song is getting more hardcore. Being by myself has allowed me more time to observe the world around me. Sometimes I feel like a trespasser, hiding in the shadows making as little noise as I can. When I came into town I had made a list of practical stuff I needed to do. I managed to unblock my Belgian simcard, buy a bra, a H&M top and a book. The book came in handy when I went back to Tabouleh for my long-awaited belgian frites. The chubby guy was still around, but with a his hair dyed to funky brown. Perhaps it was always funky brown, I guess I wouldn’t know for sure because in my memory he always wore a hat. His fryer wasn’t working properly today but there were a few people loitering around his shop chitchatting. He welcomed me as his regular guest and said if I wanted to wait it would take 20min. It all happened quickly and in french so I guess I didn’t really realize the extent of the wait before I sat down and opened up my book. It was literally 20min, or more. I overheard a bit of the funny conversation that the chubby funky brown haired man and the young magrebs that were hanging out there held. At one point Mr. Chubby asked me what I was reading. When he saw it was Twilight it sparked off an unasked for enthusiasm. It turns out he’s seen the movie and read all the four books. Suddenly he was recommending me to read the second book because it was much more exciting – getting carried in his excitement but not wanting to reveal any of the exciting content to me. Then he caught himself slightly embarrassed by pointing out that Twilight was really some for ‘les filles’, but oh how he enjoyed it just as well. Can you imagine? Mr. Chubby churning over vampire romance in Paris (which was apparently where he read all the books). It really is a romantic image. 

I can’t wait to go out in Brussels (or Antwerp for that matter). I would not mind at all to go somewhere and dance the night away and get absorbed in the technical universe of beats and extravaganzas. All I need now is a friend or two who can share my excitement with these type of things to accompany me. There’s a limit of independency of a girl. As much as I can roll and push my yellow suitcase friend all over the cobbled stones of Brussels, I am very unlikely to go out clubbing alone. Which reminds me, it is probably time for me make my way back to Schuman… the grey boring district of Europeans. Before the night comes and the slegs of Brussels take over town.